Where to Begin: Choosing your Bridal Party

Picking my bridal party proved harder than I expected. I didn't want to play favorites (although let's face it, that's what it is) or hurt anyone's feelings. Let's just say that it was definitely an involved process and a lot of thinking involved. I don't know what etiquette says about asking your bridesmaids to take the job, but with the engagement, I was so excited, I asked when I announced that he had popped the question.

I had some of my friends in mind and my sister was already my MOH, so it was just a few other spots I had to fill.

My two BFFs, who interestingly enough have never met, were natural choices. My first BFF, has been my best friend since probably the 6th grade. We've known each other since second, but it wasn't until we were in high school that we got really tight. The day after I had announced the news via email, she called me all the way from Italy where she is stationed for the Air Force (nice post!). I asked her on the spot and I think she was more excited than me. Of course, her enthusiasm has always shown through more than mine.

My other BFF, friends since college, and having dubbed with fun nicknames is my other bridesmaid. When I called her back about the engagement, I wanted to lock her in as well. She said that she hadn't been in a wedding since she was a flower girl once, and that she'd "love to!"

When I had initially discussed the wedding party with my fiance, we had decided on the honor attendants plus four bridesmaids/groomsmen. I thought, easy enough to figure out two more of my friends to stand by my side. I had another friend in mind as well as my cousin.

My friend was honored saying that she had never been in a wedding before, even her sister's. She agreed and was really excited about the prospect. When I asked my cousin, she accepted as well, excited and saying, "of course I'd want to be in your wedding."

Well fast-forward a few months later. I come home from the airport after taking our engagement photos in Dallas. My sister tries to tell me about my cousin. At first, I was thinking, should I be worried? Then she finally told me that my cousin would be going to Australia after graduation and didn't want to commit to being a bridesmaid if that meant she would be a flaky one. Basically, she wanted to prevent herself from being flaky. I get that. It wasn't like she was saying that she didn't like me or something.

At the same time my fiance remembered that he wanted to add another groomsman. He had hesitated at first because this guy is in Korea on Military duty, and he wasn't sure if he would be back in time for the wedding. I guess this friend is returning in May 2009, and should be around for the wedding, which is great for him, but that also meant that I had to fill two spots!

Luckily, I had another friend in mind who I wanted to be in my wedding, but since we were originally only having 4 BMs/GMs, I hadn't asked her right away. Thankfully, she was touched that I asked her, even after the fact of knowing that I had "my girls" picked out.

However, now I'm still trying to figure out who will be my fifth. And I didn't think that it would be this difficult. Four bridesmaids worked out well because I was able to equally pick from each of my friend groups. Had my cousin not dropped out, I would have been okay with five. Now, I'm at a loss. I guess I could just have 4 BMs and my fiance could have 5 GMs. But I'm a girl who likes symmetry. Hmmm. Oh the decision...

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