Where to Begin: Choosing a Date

After the realization sets in that "OMG, I'm getting married!", it can be an overwhelming undertaking to actually start planning. Like most brides-to-be out there, I had never planned a wedding. I've seen family members plan weddings when I was in high school, but I had never done it. Only one of my friends from college is married, and I'm the first of my immediate friends to get engaged. Since then two more of my friends have gotten engaged and one more is in the works! (There must be something in the water).

I have to admit that I was overcome by the deluge of options for wedding "stuff". Indoor or outdoor? Church or garden? Friday, Saturday, or Sunday? Big or small? Before the engagement I found myself perusing bridal "things". I'd secretly check out The Knot for pretty ideas or WeddingBee especially since one of my former coworkers is Mrs. Tomato. It was fun to check things out without the strings attached. With the ring slipped on my finger, I now get to think in concrete terms. I am planning a wedding!

The day after the question was popped, we started talking about when. During our first conversation we discussed sometime in 2009. We thought about March or April before the real wedding season rush. As soon as we broke the news to our parents, my mom asked that we wait until she finished grad school in May '09. So then I thought about May 30, 2009. She vetoed it, and asked that my sister be on summer vacation from college. We narrowed dates down to end of June and July, since we didn't really want to wait until August or September if we didn't have to. We chose July 11 or July 18 as possible dates and moved on from there. We thought that this would be a good compromise especially since we still have friends who are in college or grad school and wouldn't be able to attend during the "school year".

Then began the hunt for the venue. With a date in mind, this made the search easier. Certain places could be thrown out while others would remain under consideration.

image from: Embroidery Library

Our First Date....

Leading up to the first date, we did the typical college student form of communication: AIM. For those not in the "know", that's AOL Instant Messenger. Yes, we lived about 20 feet away from each other, and yet, for the first couple of weeks before the first "official" date, we chatted and flirted online. I suppose it's because it felt easier and safer because it wasn't in person. Less intimidating perhaps?

Eventually several online conversations later, I received a text message asking if I wanted to go to dinner after work. At that point, I wasn't sure if it was a "date" or a "friend thing". I was hoping it was a date. I'd never been on a real date and the prospect gave me butterflies in my stomach. There was just something about him; I knew he was special.

After work on September 23, 2005, I got ready to go to dinner. He didn't tell me where, but I was prepared for anything. Considering we earned the pitiful minimum wage in the state of Florida, I wasn't expecting a three-course candlelit dinner. From what I remember now, when he came to pick me up across the hall, I couldn't help but smile. He didn't show up with any friends, and it was just us in the car... I thought, well, I guess it's a date. I figured that if he offered to pay, that would seal the deal.

We drove for a little bit and pulled into the parking lot of our destination: TGI Friday's. The one thing I remember vividly while we were ordering off the menu, was that he ordered a "cheeseburger without cheese". I thought that was a weird way of putting it, but I thought it was cute. Personally I would have asked for a hamburger, but whatever. When I asked him why he ordered it that way, he pointed to the menu where it said Cheeseburger, then under it in fine print it said Without Cheese.

I was a little nervous that our conversation would have the dreaded awkward pauses. But my mind was put at ease when it just flowed. We talked about our families and where we lived and where we went to college. It was an ideal first date conversation. And the rest, is history. I met my best friend and now I get to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. I feel so lucky and blessed!