Where to Begin: Bridesmaids Dresses

I was talking to a friend over the weekend and she mentioned that she is going to be in a wedding in August. And she's a bridesmaid. She also talked/complained about the trials and tribulations of being a bridesmaid and how it has turned into a nightmare. She was just talking about the dress. She is going to be a bridesmaid for a friend she has known since second grade. Her friend, thinking that she'd make it easy by choosing a black dress, decided on a certain two-piece style from David's Bridal. My friend said that she's never going to wear the dress again because it's so "not her style" and the dress is a waste of money to her. She even said that she's going to suck in her gut in the smaller size dress so she doesn't have to pay for alterations. Oh dear.

So how do you prevent this type of dilemma?

I found my friend's anecdote highly entertaining, although she did have a point. Personally, I'd like to choose a dress that can be reworn by my bridesmaids. Something that they won't want to throw away and think that they wasted a ton of money on. I want them to have a dress that they'll like (at least a little). I've become a big fan of choosing a dress line and color and letting the bridesmaids have at it.

At first, I thought that I would be one of those brides who wanted the matchy-matchy bridesmaids dresses. Then I came to my senses and realized that not everyone looked spectacular in the same cut of dress. I'm thinking that I'll choose a color and let my bridesmaids pick something that they will feel good in. (As much as possible in a bridesmaid dress)

Why not try something like these?

photo from ariadress.com

photo from Aria Dress

 Photo from TheKnot

Bridesmaids dresses don't have to be "bridesmaid-y". Check out the collection at J.Crew too.

Dress Shopping, my take, Part 3

So after a positive experience at the first bridal salon, we were off to lunch and driving down to the next appointment.

The next appointment was booked at Kay's Bridal in Castro Valley. I remembered passing it every now and then driving through. I looked them up online and booked an appointment. Kay's Bridal had very friendly staff and a huge inventory. The difference was that the dresses were in plastic bags on the racks so for me, it was hard to see what the dressed would look like in full form. This, however, did prevent the serious eye wattering that I experienced at the other bridal salon.

My attendant, Nicole, was very helpful. She asked me what my price range was and what style I thought I wanted. Again, I was a little weary about giving "too low" of a price range, thinking that it would seriously limit my possibilities. I told her that I was interested in A-line gowns, nothing too poufy, with some lace, but not overkill. She found some dresses that she thought fit the description and I picked out some dresses, trying to peer into the plastic sheath.

I tried on about ten dreses I think. I tried on the same dress that I did at the first boutique. I loved it all the same. I checked the price to see if there were any advantages on waiting a few more months or buying it then. I saw that the pricetag was higher than the other salon, but Kay's was also running a special on Maggie Sottero gowns, for I believe $200 off the tag price. Then, I took into account that the other store was having a Trunk Show Sale on Maggie Sottero dresses.

So I'm not one to hem and haw over things like this. In my mind, it's another bullet point on my Wedding To-Do List. It seemed straightforward to me. I would go to the other store and take advantage of the Maggie Sottero Trunk Show Sale and be done with it. Which is what I did!

Here's my dress, the Carissa:

 

 

Dress Shopping, my take, Part 2

I may be speaking words of blasphemy. Dress shopping was one of the easiest tasks on my wedding to-do list.

When I went wedding dress shopping two weeks ago, I really had no intention of purchasing a dress. I was simply going out to get an idea of what I'd look good in or what styles we available currently. I had a couple of ideas of what I was looking for, and my only request was that it would work with my "something borrowed", my mom's veil from when my parents married, 29 years ago.

We went to the first bridal salon, J'aime Bridal, located in Pleasanton, about a hour east from San Francisco, and about 25 minutes from where I live. I had found the store online as a recommendation from Here Comes the Guide as well as a recommendation from my venue, Castlewood Country Club. It's a small boutique full of lovely wedding gowns from all sorts of designers, as well as chock full of bridesmaid dress options.

Jaime, who I believe is the owner, met with me, my mom, and my sister. We showed her my mom's veil which gave her a couple of ideas of what to pull. I told her that I didn't want too much beading, but some lace, and some details would be okay. I'm not overly fond of the gathered skirts that have been in style the last few years, and I'm definitely more on the simple side of things. I was pretty sure I wanted a strapless dress or one with straps, but with a V-neckline.

After perusing the two main sections of gowns, I pulled some that I thought I would like. Here's a note to wedding dress shoppers out there, if you have allergies, and the dresses are not bagged, then you may experience an allergic reaction to the fumes(?) of the materials of the dresses. I know I sure did. My eyes finally acclimated after a while. I entered the dressing room and accepted what would come next: stripping down to my skivvies and allowing a total stranger to help me get dressed. Not a time for body issues.

I dove into the first dress and Jaime cinched me up as the corseted back sucked everything in. The dress was gorgeous, a Maggie Sottero, which J'aime Bridal, just so happened to be having a Maggie Sottero Trunk Show Sale that day. I didn't really think much of that fact at first. I liked the first dress, it had nice ruching and the corseted back made sure the strapless dress stayed in place. I thought, "Wow, this whole dress trying on thing isn't so bad".

I tried another Maggie Sottero that Jaime had chosen that had less ruching and a fuller skirt. It too had a corseted back and some nice embroidery detailing along the front of the dress. It was beautiful. My mom and sister remarked at how lovely it was and how good I looked in it. I thought, "Definitely Maybe".

I tried on a Casablanca dress that I had picked out. I could definitely tell that it was way heavier than the first two that I tried on. It was made of satin, whereas the other two were made from taffeta. I always liked the look of taffeta, and now I realized that the weight of the fabric made all the difference in the world.

I think I probably tried on seven to ten more gowns after that. I tried on some shoes -- most definitely looking for comfort! -- and even held up a necklace to see the look altogether. Wedding dress shopping is tiring! After trying on all the options, I chose my top two, which Jaime wrote down on a card for future reference. My favorites from this stop were the first two Maggie Sottero gowns.

But I wasn't ready to decide. We still had one more stop before the day was over and couldn't make a decision without seeing what the other salon had to offer. So we thanked Jaime for all her help and headed to the next shop.

To be continued!

Dress Shopping, my take, Part 1

Unlike other brides-to-be out there, I've been putting off shopping for my dress. Everyone kept asking me if I have found my dress yet, and I had to reply "no".

Well, that is no longer, folks. I have found my dress!

After chatting with a former co-worker who is getting married eight days after me, she gave me some pointers from her shopping experience. She scheduled a couple of appointments at various bridal salons in the San Jose area, and had a pretty good time. However, her one caveat was that she didn't think she'd be able to get out of the salon without spending at least four figures -- something I feared.

By nature, I'm a pretty frugal person. I think I learned that from my dad. I don't like spending my own money, however, I have an easier time spending someone else's money. For the wedding, I'm paying for a lot of things on my own, so I knew that I would have to budget a reasonable amount for my wedding dress. I'm not coming from a place where my parents have set aside $10,000 for my dream dress. I'm okay with that. I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing that I was going to wear something with five digits. That's just not how I roll.

So the thought of "having" to spend at least $1,000 on a wedding gown was freaking me out. My co-worker also mentioned that for we who are getting married next July, considering that it takes about four to six months to create, should order our dresses by October. Good to know.

With these two points in mind, I researched a couple of local bridal salons. I didn't really want to drive about forty-five minutes out of my way to the same salons as my co-workers. (Enter frugality). Instead I decided to find something closer. I had heard about one location, J'aime Bridal in Pleasanton. I made an appointment for a bridal consultation. I had also driven past another bridal salon, Kay's Bridal, in Castro Valley, and booked a second appointment that day. I figured that these were in close enough proximity to me, so why not?

I went dress shopping this past Thursday. I went out with no intention of either finding or buying a dress. I thought that it was going to be a long, hard journey to finding "the" dress. I thought that it would be foolish to "settle". I had seen other brides-to-be going from salon to salon, trying on multiple dresses, and still not finding the one. I thought that would be me.

I discovered otherwise on Thursday....

THE Dress

There was a marathon of "Say YES to the Dress" on TLC this past Sunday. That got me thinking about my dress. Well, my someday dress. The thing is, I don't have a dress yet. With a year+ until the wedding, I'm not in a huge rush to get one.

I watched as the brides to be tried on a variety of gowns at the ultra sweet Kleinfeld's in New York. I listened as different brides mentioned their budgets, ranging from $3000 to "no budget". I'm sorry, but I don't really fall into that category. I'd love to have the dress of my dreams, but I'm also a realist, and have a really hard time swallowing the idea of spending $2000+ on a dress I'll wear once, maybe twice (for photos). Then again, that may change in a year, but I doubt it.

Then again, I do have some ideas:

(all photos from theKnot.com)